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Monday, November 3, 2014

part 9: things your boy toy will never tell you

Oh, the male species. The "kind" that makes us sometimes want to be asexual mushrooms. I have decided to enlighten you on the male mind & what I've learned in my not so stellar track history with the male species we all love to hate.

  1. They suck at details. You'll never get the full story. Not because they mean to leave half of it out- they just aren't as detailed oriented as we are. It's a fact of life. Just ask them a ton of questions & pick up that dang phone... boys suck at details but add texting into the mix and you're asking for a mess.
  2. They suck even more at making plans. Tell them where to be & when. They actually like that believe it or not. The whole "you decide no you decide" phase was never cute and never will be.
  3. They're never thinking as deeply into the situation as you are. You think: He isn't talking to me because he saw my slightly bitchy comment on his ex girlfriends picture. He thinks: Wow her comment was....wait what did you say the score of the game was again bro?
  4. When they say "What/why?" they actually mean it. Ok so girls are confusing.. we throw a lot at boys so can you blame them for tuning us out sometimes... I mean really sometimes I kinda annoy myself sooooooo.
  5. They like being complimented too. I feel like we often get wrapped up in boys telling us we're pretty or that they like our dress when in reality boys love getting complimented just as much. If you love his shirt or the way he looks in a beanie tell him. It'll make his day even if he never admits it. 
  6. They don't care about your gossip. At all. Save it for your BFF. Don't put yourself on the fast track to break up central station by constantly talking about that girl you used to like until she cheated with your boyfriends ex best friend and now it's just extremely awkward in Econ 1010. Seriously.. he doesn't care.
  7. He likes romantic things. Think simple & to the point. No guy wants a scavenger hunt to find some stupid present hidden at the end... a nice dinner date on his birthday (with you paying complete with a cute gift) is really all you need. & they like candles. They actually do so don't let them convince you otherwise. 
  8. Boys don't understand girl clothes. Josh is so confused by my palazzo wide leg pants, wearing high socks over my leggings with my nikes, & pantsuits. But honestly 20 years from now we're gonna look back and regret some of those choices too.. hate to break it to ya.
  9. They have the attention span of a goldfish. Be concise in your stories and in what you're asking them to do.. just do yourself a favor for your energy's sake & his sanity.
  10. Your relationship is a relationship- so stop momming him. He has a mom & you don't need to be one. Probably the easiest way to kill a relationship to be honest.
So there's that. Hope this was slightly enlightening. Boys truly are the best definition of something that we love to hate. Don't ever forget what you're worth- a guy that wants you for you will chase after you, I promise. It's still a thing. 

Best wishes


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