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Thursday, May 19, 2016

4,455 miles {florence files}

Over 4,000 miles away my family, parents, and friends are going on with their everyday lives in different time zones in a different country on a different continent.

Over 120 days away from people that contribute so much to every aspect of my life on a daily basis.

With 1 full day left until some sweet long lived reunions in Europe and 25 until some more real deal ones in America, there's something to be said for having four months abroad to yourself.

Long distance is hard, but abroad distance is a new trial in every way. There's something to be said for having something that is 100% your own. I share my hometown with my parents. I share my college with my friends, but right now, in this moment Florence is mine and only mine.

You can't always have absolutely everything in common with people you care about. You need differentiation. Something that makes you you-er than you. Something that people associate you with, that credit you with, that look up to you about.

To me it's like having a competitive advantage in a business. Without a competitive advantage your business blends into to everything else that surrounds it. If I've learned anything while being here it's that people, like businesses, need competitive advantages too.

There is nothing that forces you into being yourself more than being forced away from everything you know and are comfortable with. Especially when you put yourself into that uncomfortable situation by choice and not actually by force. There's a comforting feeling in knowing that I did this on my own and that I made it out completely fine or even better than when I began my time here.

It takes some people their whole lives to acknowledge their own adequacy, and some are never lucky enough to have that enlightening moment. I couldn't ask for anything more than to start out my 20's knowing that I am capable and enough on my own. I've known that for awhile, or rather had it in the back of my head. But as independent as I've always been, I still need that occasional kick of confidence to feel or do something a certain way.

When you're young, there's a good chance you are the only person holding yourself back. I know that I am by far the hardest person on myself. Giving yourself credit for what you do and can accomplish only happens when you throw away your crutch, security blanket, comfort zone- whatever you want to call it.

It's not selfish- it's distance. And distance can do more for you than quotes on the wall and philosophy classes.



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